Who are you?

This is about my lifelong search for what lies beneath pretense and the superficial.

I was born April 1 (honest!) 1939.

One of man’s central concerns, for the last half-million years, has been to try to understand others – first to avoid being killed, and then to figure out how to coöperate, having discovered early that our best hope for surviving and thriving lay in cracking that nut.  Personal Intelligence, we call it now.

When I was a kid I realized that the people in my part of the forest (Baptists, nuns in our orphanage, materialists, here and there a pedophile) had a defective world view, and a misguided approach to understanding themselves and others; yet they seemed so certain, so sincere – so authoritative!  And a lot of them were clearly good-hearted, as well, regardless of their brand.  Ignorance and ideology brought them low, and sometimes thwarted their natural benevolence.

By the time I was ten, though, my father was dead, and the five of us kids were left with a schizophrenic mother, in real poverty, before the age of the safety net.  We were screwed, and I was confused. Climbing out of this pit required of me a lonely, belligerent self-reliance which became an essential part of me.

I had advantages.  I was a WASP, and really smart, although I didn’t know it.  What that helped me with was an intuitive understanding of the elaborate pretenses of those that surrounded me; and that’s how my lifelong obsession with human behavior began, as well as my quest for bedrock..

I want to find that infinitely elusive man behind the curtain, and make him talk.

Wanna be a fellow-traveler?  Laugh at me, yourself, and the man behind the curtain?  Cuz that’s the fun of it, and all we can do anyhow… (Except sometimes for extended periods I sober up…)

We’ll just go over there to that rabbit hole…



One Response to About

  1. cathy becker says:

    Love this picture of the 3 of you studying the world with your magnifying glasses.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *